Forgive and Forget

My plan for this year was to write more and blog more. It’s actually going great. I’ve hit huge word counts each month (that I probably wouldn’t have if I wasn’t pushing myself a little more) and I’ve been blogging once a week. Sure, sometimes my posts are a little far between each but I’m there and that’s a big achievement for someone who couldn’t pen something in her blog once a month or on a regular basis.

Last week I didn’t get around to doing a blog post. I was leaving it until the weekend when I planned to catch up, but unfortunately, something happened that has prevented me from doing this. Something unexpected.

While I’m a little bummed about missing a goal I set for myself, I’ve also forgiven myself. After all, life is a chaotic mess sometimes and we can’t always guarantee that things are going to fall into place every time. They’ve actually worked out really well for me so far so I actually can’t complain! Therefore, I am moving past and moving on and saying hello now.

Things with me are going to be really hectic in the next few weeks anyway what with a hen party coming up followed by a week in New York! I’m busy packing for both (trying to be organised and stay ahead) while also trying to make sure I’ve done everything at work that I need to do and that it will all be wrapped up before I go away. I do struggle leaving work a little. It plays on my mind because I want to know the people I work with are going to be okay. You know?

But I will leave it go and I will enjoy myself. And in that same note, I have also decided to end my lent early. It’s not something I’ve done before (intentionally) but I have decided that since I’m going to be on holiday I want to be able to enjoy it fully, not be having to worry about what I’m eating or having to say no to something I really want to have. Therefore, my biscuit ban ends on the 1st April!

I still plan to try and write some when I’m away, particularly when I’m on the plane (on the six hour flight) and hopefully even just a little every night. I’m so excited for going away now, it’s been such a long time since I’ve been abroad and seeing somewhere like New York is going to be an amazing experience!

What do you have planned in the next few weeks? How do you work around things when they don’t work out? Do you shrug and move on or does it grate on you like it does me?

Cathartic Process

It’s taken me a while to come to this decision and I’ve been thinking about it long and hard. For a lot of years I kept a journal. I didn’t write on a regular basis, at least not towards the end, and for the past three years or so I haven’t kept one at all.

When I thought about it, I came to the realisation that I hadn’t kept a journal because I didn’t need to keep a journal. You see, I used my journals as a way to vent. I would sometimes write when I was happy, when I was feeling brilliant, but mostly I found that I was writing when I was sad or upset or angry or lonely.

When I first started writing I thought it would be interesting to go back to them, re-read them when I was a little older perhaps, but now I know that if I read back through those journals it would do nothing but help me relive some of the bad memories I have and I realised how much I don’t want that. My life is good, I’m happy and I don’t want to be reminded of the bad times. Why would I? Sure they’re a part of me but then I moved past them.

So I made the decision that I’m going to burn my journals. I haven’t gotten around to it yet (and the hardest part is knowing that I’ll be burning some of those pretty notebooks) but I’m preparing myself for it. Burning seems a very apt way to go through the process, allowing the paper to become nothing and therefore all of the bad things and memories I have to evaporate with them. I can’t wait to do it.

Do you do something when you need to vent? How do you handle it? What about keeping a journal? Are you a daily journal writer?